Scott's Stories

Palin's Gubernatorial Resignation

2009-07-03T23:33:43Z

Why would Sarah Palin resign her governorship?

She's Mark Sanford's Argentinian lover.
She shot a man in Juneau just to watch him die.
She's urgently needed to console Norm Coleman.

Others?

Playoff Beards

2009-06-13T16:36:12Z

I didn't shave between Christmas and the Superbowl. The Pittsburgh Steelers won.

I didn't shave between Mother's Day and the Stanley Cup finals. The Pittsburgh Penguins won.

Coincidence? I think so. Sorry, Pirates!

Gang Cutting?

2009-05-26T03:33:15Z

My current favorite soft drink has a deal going: each 12-pack of cans comes with a $1 coupon off of the next 12-pack. Today was the first time I was planning to use two of them in the same store visit. I decided to read the fine print to make sure that wasn't prohibited. It wasn't, but I found something more baffling. The store is instructed to reject coupons which are "reproduced, gang cut or mint condition." I can understand reproduced. What I can't understand is how anybody's supposed to recognize "gang cut" as distinct from normal cutting. For that matter, wouldn't obsessive-compulsives be penalized for precision cutting which might be mistaken for "mint condition"?

Starting the Month the Geeky Way

2009-05-02T02:12:08Z

It was raining inside and out at work tonight. I made eight code commits in the space of an hour. Such commit storms are pretty typical for me, but tonight's was eight commits for a reason. The last one had a revision number of 314. Sure, it was late for Pi Day, but I wasn't interested in staying around long enough to reach 501 for May Day.

Ask Lazyweb: Laundry Lore

2009-04-17T12:31:10Z

It was only last summer that I learned to skip fabric softener when washing towels. The softener takes up residence where the water is supposed to go and reduces the towel's ability to absorb. Another important fabric softener detail: it builds up on the dryer's lint screen, and must be removed with soap to restore proper air flow. Are there any other laundry tips like that you were surprised to learn?

I'd also like to know if anyone has used those dryer balls. I'm on board for the cost savings from reduced drying time and the elimination of softener sheets, but it seems to me that they might achieve the softness much like a meat tenderizer would. I would think this ages the clothes more rapidly. The reviews online are less than helpful, so I'm hoping to hear about personal experience.

Whatever it is, I'll have it with everything.

2009-03-26T04:39:16Z

Lunch today was a cheeseburger plate, hash browns only, with everything. For those who've never experienced Rochester's most notorious contribution to the culinary arts, those cheeseburger patties were served directly on the home fries, no bun required. The "everything" translated into a heaping pile of diced raw onions, tablespoon after tablespoon of yellow mustard, and "hot sauce", a spiced ground beef slurry. I then poured on the Louisiana-style hot sauce you probably thought of when I said "hot sauce". And then, to mop up any flavor that managed to elude the fork, white bread with butter.

A plate is food that appeals directly to the part of the brain we share with lizards. The good news: the place had Trappey's instead of Tabasco, so the plate's signature burning and indigestion were significantly mitigated. The bad news: the plate's signature burning and indigestion were severely mitigated, undercutting the feeling of accomplishment that comes from polishing off a plate.

For dinner, I had Japanese. California roll, salmon roll, seaweed salad, two types of dumpling, a tempura assortment (broccoli, shrimp, mushroom, sweet potato, and eggplant), and shrimp sauteed with onions and asparagus. The flavors tended toward the subtle; my usual sushi selection is much more complicated and spicy.

For a while there, I felt like I ate at the two ends of the food sophistication spectrum. Could any two meals be more different? Now that I've enumerated the components of the dinner, I see that there's a strong common thread. Whatever it was, I had it "with everything". Perhaps tomorrow I'll get some plain pizza. Sauce + cheese + dough sounds downright simple.

The Internet is Full of Fail

2009-03-19T04:58:39Z

We'll start with You Probably Lose, the addictive new Flash game from Bad Gods. After each round, be sure to visit Sad Trombone. I would mention Fail Blog at this point, but they've mostly been made of fail lately.

Ah, the things one finds late at night when waiting for the dryer to finish . . .

Happy Pi Day!

2009-03-14T13:05:19Z

I went shopping last night to stock up on pie ingredients to celebrate π Day. I started at the fabric store, but they didn't have any French silk. When I asked where I could score some chicken pot at the grocery store, thay called the police. Oh well, there's always next year!

Laundry Delay, a One-Question Poll

2009-03-01T15:16:14Z

View Poll: Laundry Delay

Weeping, Wailing, Gnashing of Teeth

2009-02-28T03:46:12Z

I think the TiVo is dead.

Dear Mortgage Holder

2009-02-23T05:20:38Z

Dear Mortgage Company,

You have offered several times to replace monthly billing with biweekly debiting. The idea is to have my payments line up with my paychecks and to pay my debt off faster. It works out to a full extra payment per year, which you generously apply to principal. I was seriously considering taking them you on it until I saw that you want to charge me $375 to sign up and $1.50 per payment. I was outraged enough at the up-front payment, but paying an extra $39 per year for something that benefits you anyway? Aw, hell no! I can configure my bank's bill payment thingy to do the same thing for $0 to start and $0 per payment. I pity the folks who sign up for the weekly debits, since it'd be $78 per year for them.

Sincerely,
tfofurn

Appropriate Attire for Sitting on the Couch

2009-01-11T15:55:09Z

I grew up in Pittsburgh, but was more into the Pirates than the Steelers. Football held little appeal for me until last year. I used to pride myself on going 36 hours without learning who won the Super Bowl. Last year, though, I got hooked when I watched the Bills lose to the Broncos in the season opener by one point after leading the whole way. Since then, I've watched the Bills go 7-9 twice. Sigh.

So today the Steelers are playing the Chargers. I haven't watched the Steelers play since the Super Bowl a few years ago. If you'd asked me two years ago, I would've scoffed that at this distance from Heinz Field, nothing I do today can possibly influence the game. Now, not so much. Am I showing support for the Steelers by wearing a Bills shirt because the AFC North is closer to the AFC East than the AFC West? Am I jinxing the Steelers by wearing a shirt for a team that last had a winning season in 2004? Should I hit a store and buy a yellow dish towel to wave around the living room? Can I be confident that if the Steelers win today, they'll also be able to beat Baltimore next weekend?

Update: I found a shirt that's as close to the black and gold as I could've hoped in an emergency. And the Steelers won! Woo hoo!

Ask Lazyweb: Wireless Print Server?

2008-04-01T03:46:06Z

Has anyone had any experience with a wireless print server? I have a USB printer (Samsung ML-2010) connected to my desktop, but my desktop's wireless connection is flaky. I also don't relish leaving the desktop on 24/7 when we primarily need printing nights and weekends. A refurbished Netgear WGPS606 has a very attractive feature set at a great price, but doesn't review well. The Linksys WPS54G reviews a little better, but might have issues working with Vista.

Another possibility would be to use the Cube as a print server. It would suck a lot less power than my XP desktop. The bad news is the networking, though there are a lot more wireless USB adapters in the world than there are wireless print servers.

Thoughts?

No Respect for Baritones

2008-02-27T02:00:52Z

The chorus just spent twenty minutes with all four voice parts singing the melody. It's great for picking out subtle synchronization issues in the lyrics, but it causes the melody singers to lose track of their own notes. One of the baritones suggested making everyone sing the bari part for a few minutes. "No thanks," said the coach, "I just had dinner."

What's in a Name?

2007-12-29T19:39:39Z

I'm at Epcot with my fiancee and ddmerillat. We just had an exquisite lunch at the Italian place in the World Showcase. I had the Braised Veal Shank with polenta and root vegetables. It was exquisite. I had to laugh when the bill arrived and I found out I'd just enjoyed Stinco di Maiale. Now I understand why the menu says "braised pork shank." :-)

Spam Busting Comes Crashing Down

2007-11-19T05:18:14Z

Remember my spam-handling trick from way back? The one where I gave out one-time email addresses on my web site, and then dumped those addresses that received spam in the trash? And addresses that didn't match the pattern for my one-times were forwarded to Gmail, which has been handling almost 200,000 of them per month? I was excited back when because I automated the process of making the recipes. After 4,243,626 trashed messages (and some other number processed by Gmail's filtering), the hosting company shut it down. They said mail processing on the system had ground to a halt, so they moved all of my forwarding recipes elsewhere. That meant 44,000 messages piled up in my inbox there. When I try to use Mutt to cut that down, Mutt is killed as a resource hog. Sigh!

The Move to More Efficient Lighting

2007-10-29T02:32:49Z

While standing in Oft-Maligned Big Box Store today, I noticed that they're pushing compact fluorescent lights quite heavily. I'd read some time back that they're striving to push consumers in that direction. They're making a good effort, including informative signage and packaging. Stores selling CFL have a lot to gain. If it's true that a $3 bulb can save the consumer $57 in energy bills and another $6 in replacements over the life of a CFL, that's theoretically $50 more the consumer has to spend at OMBBS!

I've been using CFLs in my basement for a while now, and they're fine there, but I have a few outstanding issues before I deploy elsewhere. If anyone has prior experience, please enlighten (ha!) me.

1. CFLs aren't suitable for applications which require dimming. That's at least five places in my house. Has anyone used anything else? Has anyone seen dimmable CFLs?

2. Apparently, phosphor technology is improving to the point that CFLs are no longer undesirably harsh or blue. Has anyone found applications where the color temperature difference is unacceptable? I'm thinking in particular of bathroom vanity lighting, for example.

3. Can anyone think of a reason I shouldn't use CFLs in my garage door opener? I think it uses a relay so the lights are always full on or full off.

A Strange, New Feeling

2007-10-09T13:46:32Z

I arrived at work today eager to discuss football. I got in before the usual suspects this morning, one of whom because she was at the game and probably didn't get home until 1:30. I just had to tell a non-football-watching co-worker about the game to get it out of my system.

Who am I, and what have I done with me?

Odometer Madness: 75,000

2007-08-31T01:56:38Z

Why Is Fiction Less Appealing?

2007-08-21T02:23:54Z

Today I had the good fortune of seeing the touring production of the musical Aida. This is the stage show with score by Elton John and Tim Rice. The new Aida is only loosely based on the Verdi opera. At the end of the performance, a member of our party remarked that he would've changed the ending. Having spent two hours watching a show set in ancient Egypt, we were eager to believe that the ending was drawn from the historical record, which would've made such a change unthinkable.

Upon regaining access to Wikipedia, we discovered that the modern Aida's ending is, indeed, a change from the Verdi version. Sadly, the Verdi version isn't based on anything real. Attempts to look up character names like Amneris and Radames yielded only the opera. What is it about period pieces like this that increases audience gullibility?

Do Jumbo Jets Have Odometers?

2007-08-18T00:19:20Z

I noticed at lunchtime today that my odometer read 74,740 miles. 074740 is pretty good, but 74747 loomed. Sadly, I didn't look at my odometer again until 74,750. I did, however, get to see 7:47:47 PM on one of my clocks.

Am I Going the Wrong Way?

2007-08-16T01:51:39Z

I've had several occasions to make car trips from Rochester down to the Harrisburg, Pennsylvania area recently. The most direct route involves copious time on Route 15. In Pennsylvania, they have a disturbing habit of offering places to turn around. They have more invitations to make a U-turn than they have signs indicating the current route number and direction of travel. I find this incredibly unnerving; I'm on 15 South, but all of the signs I see are for 15 North. I'd much rather have reassurance that I'm on the right road than offers to reverse my trip. This is all the more vexing because they'll list distances to places I've already passed through rather than places I've yet to go. Are there any other similarly signed roads?

Making up for Lost (Luggage) Time

2007-08-07T02:41:28Z

You may recall that my suitcase failed to make the connection at O'Hare with me on the way to Harmony College. Would you believe my luggage was misplaced coming as well? This was particularly baffling because ddmerillat's suitcase was routed correctly, and we checked them in at the same time. It was even funnier because we had the same flight number for both legs of the flight, though we had to change planes in Washington National. I've been uneventfully checking my luggage on planes for years. I'm having trouble remembering the last time my luggage was anything other than right where I was, so being forced to wait for it twice on one trip blows my mind. I guess this makes up for those years of error-free luggage handling.

Networking at Harmony College

2007-08-02T14:26:34Z

I've been on LiveJournal since 2003. Just after ddmerillat and I got back from the 2004 barbershop convention, it occurred to me that I should've checked LJ for people who I might've met. I found volvita that way, and we've been LJ friends for slightly more than three years. I still haven't met her, but this week I got to meet her father and the rest of his quartet.

I struck up a conversation with a guy in my "How to Analyze Voices" class. He turned out to be from the Madison, Wisconsin chapter. Not knowing how long he'd been a member, I said "Oh, you might remember mab42." Of course he remembered Matt. They'd been in a quartet together. This guy was now the assistant director of their chorus, a position Matt also once held.

Harmony College Hygiene

2007-07-31T14:22:39Z

Remember last year when I felt slimy after showering? Yeah . . . that's back. This year I have a theory. Hard water has more mineral content than soft water, right? So maybe the minerals increase the surface tension of the water. Hard water is more likely to bead up on the skin, then. The soft water stays evenly dispersed, leading to the feeling of being unable to remove it. Sound plausible?